10 Commandments of Co-Parenting

Resolve conflicts without putting kids in the middle. This requires being objective about your children's needs (and not confusing them with your own) and compromising when the situation warrants. Stick with a conflict until it's resolved; don't let a problem fester and then punish the other parent passive-aggressively or be difficult in unrelated situations.

Treat the other parent with respect. This goes a long way toward easing your relations with your former partner. It also provides a good model for your children; more than we are willing to admit, our children imitate our behavior. Disrespect toward the other parent will be played out by the child. It's important for a child's healthy development to have respect for authority figures, including both parents.

Observe appropriate boundaries. When it comes to your kids, it's sometimes difficult to tell yourself what they're doing with the other parent "is none of my business." But if an activity won't harm them physically or psychologically, it probably is none of your business. Recognize it's okay, maybe even good, for children to learn different ways of doing things. It's almost certain that the other parent won't do everything your way.

Communicate regularly with the other parent. There's lots to share. When children are small, the other parent needs to know the basics when parenting responsibilities are being transferred. Has the child eaten? Gone to the bathroom recently? Does he or she need more sleep or a bath? When children are older, both parents need to know about school activities, sports events and trips out of town. It's good to get into a regular habit of checking in with each other on the days when parenting is shared. A worst-possible scenario is that lack of communication could lead to a child not being picked up after school or day care, or important medical treatment being disrupted.

Demonstrate positive conflict resolution. Don't try to hide conflicts when they arise. Children generally know more about what's going on than we give them credit for. Use conflict as an opportunity to show kids how to resolve issues in a responsible manner. Paul puts it this way: "Don't step into the ring without taking time to cool off."

Share with your co-parent what you need from him or her to do a good job of parenting. In our case, a regular schedule is important to Paul. He likes to know he has time he can count on with his son, Frequent schedule changes are disruptions he finds particularly irritating, especially when it involves "telephone tag." I like to know I can depend on Paul to pick up Nick when he says he will. Everyone has different requirements for support. Be sure to be clear with the other parent about yours, and take time to inquire about his or hers. In our experience, guessing hasn't been very productive.

Don't allow all of the parenting tasks to fall to one parent Typically, things that are out of balance don't work well. Work at sharing parenting chores as equally as possible. Don't hoard tasks and act like a martyr, and don't expect the other parent to be in charge of all of the communicating, all of the extra purchases for your child or all of the discipline.

Be consistent - to the extent possible - in disciplining, feeding and caring for your child. This makes transitions from one household to another easier, thus minimizing the outbursts from children after visits with the other parent. Respect each other's parenting approaches, and recognize that while consistency is optimal, differences are okay. Children are able to distinguish that something that's okay at Dad's house may not be okay at Morn's, not because one parent is bad or wrong, but because the two parents are different.

Help your children recognize the other parent with appropriate gifts or cards. These express your children's sentiments and make them feel good about themselves when they're praised for their thoughtfulness. Take the time to help your children make or pick out holiday and birthday gifts for the other parent. Recognizing Mother's and Father's Day are particularly important because other relatives aren't involved in celebrating these days.

Don't punish your in-laws by keeping your kids from them after a divorce. Your in-laws are probably as disappointed as you and your former partner about the dissolution of your relationship. Grandparents can be a child's greatest cheerleaders; don't hurt your children and yourself by cutting off visits with them. In many cases, grandparents also provide back-up child care; this isn't something any single parent should give up willingly.

Ruth Morehead Artist - Image Graphic Google

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A Daughters 10 Commandments

1. Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he’s in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

7. Women don’t make fools of men, most of them are the do it yourself types

8. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

9. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

10. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.

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A Week of Prayer

Monday - Wash Day

"Lord,

help me wash away all my selfishness and vanity,

 so I may serve you with perfect humility

 through the week ahead."

Tuesday - Ironing Day

"Dear Lord,

 help me iron out all the wrinkles of prejudice

 I have collected through the years

 so that I may see the beauty in others."

Wednesday - Mending Day

"O God, help me mend my ways

so I will not set a bad example for others."

Thursday - Cleaning Day

"Lord, help me to dust out all the many faults

 I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart."

Friday - Shopping Day

"O God, give me the grace to shop wisely

so I may purchase eternal happiness

 for myself and all others in need of love."

Saturday - Cooking Day

"Help me, my Saviour,

 to brew a big kettle of brotherly love

 and serve it with clean,

sweet bread of human kindness."

Sunday - The Lord's Day

"O God,

I have prepared my house for you.

Please come into my heart

as my honored guest

 so I may spend the day

and the rest of my life in your presence."

Author Unknown

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Pennies From Heaven

We have all seen those pennies lying on the ground

 but until we lose someone we love...

do they truly increase in their value

I found a penny today

Just lying on the ground,

But it's not just a penny

This little coin I found.

Found pennies come from heaven

That's what my Grandpa told me,

He said Angels toss them down

Oh, How I loved that story.

He said when an Angel misses you

They toss a penny down,

Sometimes just to cheer you up

To make a smile out of your frown.

So don't pass by that penny

Whey you're feeling blue,

It may be a penny from heaven

That an Angel tossed to you.

Author Unknown

Dedicated to My Father and my Children's Grandfather
whom we loss on June 1st 1997.

Since that date....me and my children have started a
"Special Jar Of Just Dad's Pennies"
which we have found when he is thinking of us and watchin over us *S*

- Is There A Spiritual Meaning to Finding Coins? ask-angels.com
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Lessons From A Carrot, An Egg And Coffee Beans

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.  Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.  Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"  "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. 

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.  The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?"  Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. 

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.  "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" 

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another lever?  How do you handle adversity?  Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

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Ten Little Christians

10 Little Christians standing in line
1 disliked the preacher, then there were 9

9 little Christians stayed up very late
1 overslept Sunday, then there were 8

8 little Christians on their way to Heaven
1 took the low road and then there were 7

7 little Christians chirping like chicks
1 disliked music, then there were 6

6 little Christians seemed very much alive
but one lost his interest then there was 5

5 little Christians pulling for Heaven's Shore
but one stopped to rest, then there were 4

4 little Christians each busy as a bee
1 got his feelings hurt, then there were 3

3 little Christians knew not what to do
1 joined the sporty crowd, then there were 2

2 little Christians, our rhyme is nearly done
differed with each other, then there was 1

1 little Christian can't do much 'tis true
brought his friend to Bible study -- then there were 2

2 earnest Christians, each won one more
that doubled the number, then there were 4

4 sincere Christians worked early and late
Each won another then there were 8

8 splendid Christians if they doubled as before
In just so many Sundays, we'd have 1,024

In this little jingle, there is a lesson true,
You belong either to the building or to the wrecking crew!

Mary Baxter St. Clair, artist

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Bedtime Prayers

by Ellen Bailey
When I was a child and it came the bedtime hour I would kneel by my bed and say my nightly prayers I would shut my eyes and ask for a lot of foolish things; Like a new bicycle or a new wagon or a toy train I prayed for new clothes; those that were in style I prayed for good grades so my parents would smile I prayed only for me and no one else I left it to others to pray for themselves The youthful things I prayed for came to pass But I learned they were things that did not last I look back now and see that I was vain To pray only for me while others were in pain Now that I am older my prayers have changed I no longer ask God for material things I pray for strength to make it through the day I pray for courage to keep my fears at bay I pray for people with lonely souls I pray for the hungry and the cold I pray for little orphans without homes I pray for those who are shut-in and all alone I pray that tensions in the world will ease I pray that we will find everlasting peace And each night before I go to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep
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Hello God. . . are you there?

Hello, God . . . are you there?
I've got so many things to ask.
Got a minute to chat with me . . .
and make this moment last?

You hung the moon
and tossed the stars
into the heavens wide.
And yet you still will have the time . . .
to sit here by my side.

The colors of the rainbow,
how did you think of those?
And how did you know that I would need
ten tiny little toes . . .

You thought of everything I'd need . . .
and planned out all my days . . .

Whatever can I do for you?
When my debt you also paid.

The elephant with his mighty trunk . . .
the fish that swim the seas . . .
and ice cream, chocolate, taffy
and chewy jelly beans.

I've been wanting to talk to you
for oh so very long . . .
I guess I just forgot to call
for you are always home.

All the many things you've done . . .
are everywhere to see.
Each created by your hand
and put here just for me.

Sometimes I think that I forget
while building castles in your sand . . .
and eating apples from your trees
that it all came from your loving hand.

Now that I have your number . . .
and I know that you are there,
do you mind if I call you up
to tell you that I care?

I promise I will call . . .
to spend some time with you.
For I've discovered it's one of
my favorite things to do.

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Angel In My Pocket

"Keep a spare angel in your pocket"
Angels carry high-beam lights to help you through the darkest hours.

I am a tiny angel
I'm smaller than your thumb;
I live in people's pockets
That's where I have my fun.

I don't suppose you've seen me,
I'm too tiny to detect:
Though I'm with you all the time,
I doubt we've ever met.

Before I was an Angel...
I was a fairy in a flower:
God, himself, hand-picked me,
And gave me Angel power.

Now, God has many Angels that
He trains in Angel pools:
We become His eyes, and ears, and hands
We become His special tools.

And because God is so busy,
With way too much to do;
He said that my assignment
Is to keep close watch on you,

When He tucked me in your Pocket
He blessed you with Angel care;
Then told me to never leave you,
And I vowed always to be there.

~ Virginia Ellis ~
Copyright © 1999
Used with permission
Visit Ginny's Web Site!

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Deck Of Cards

After a day of heavy fighting the Chaplain had set up church service. The men were asked to take out their bibles or prayer books. The Chaplain noticed one soldier looking at a deck of cards. After the service, he was taken by the Chaplain to see the Major. The Chaplain explained to the Major what he had seen. The Major told the young soldier that he would have to be punished if he could not explain himself. The young soldier told the Major that during battle he had neither a bible or prayer book so he would use his deck of cards . He explained...

* When I look at the Ace,
it tells me that there is one God and no other.

* When I see the 2,
it reminds me there are two parts of the Bible,
the Old and New Testaments.

* The 3 tells me of the Trinity of God the Father,
God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

* The 4 reminds me of the four Gospels
- Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

* When I see the 5 it tells me of the
five unwise virgins who were lost then were saved.

* The 6 makes me mindful that God
created the earth in just six days,

* and God said that it was good,
so He rested on the 7th day.

* The 8  reminds me that God
destroyed all life by water except eight people.

There was Noah and his wife,
their three sons and their wives.

* When I see the 9
I think of the nine lepers that God healed.

* The 10 tells me of the Ten Commandments
carved in stone by the hand of God.

* The Jack makes me remember the prince of darkness,
like a roaring lion that devours those he can.

* When I look at the Queen
I see blessed Mary, Mother of Jesus.

* As I look at the last card I see the King
which reminds me Jesus is the Lord of Lords and King of Kings.

* There are 365 spots on the cards,
the number of days in a year.

* There are 52 cards to a deck,
the number of weeks in a year.

* There are 12 picture cards,
the number of months in a year.

* There are 4 suits,
the number of quarters in a year.

* There are 13 cards to a suit,
the number of weeks in a quarter."

And so the young soldier then said to the Major,

"You see, Sir, that my intentions were honorable.

My deck of cards serves as my
Bible, Prayer Book, and Almanac."

Most importantly, my deck of cards reminds me that I need JESUS...
365 days, 52 weeks and 12 months a year and that I should always pray 4 others."

May you never look at a deck of cards the same way!

*written by T. Texas Tyler

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Footprints in the Sand

An amazing poem by: Mary Stevenson, 1936

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

---

Mary Stevenson, 1936

Other versions may be read here

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Monsignor Advice

Afterall we all are not perfect and I thought I would add this one as it does show me that even those so close do also have faults and are entitled to a few minor mistakes knowing we are forgiven for them.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 

 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 

 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook. 

 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. 

 9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 

 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." 

 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said,"Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me" 

 12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"

 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not:   Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God. 

 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's. 

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