More Church Bulletin Signs

Church signs are everywhere sometimes funny, sometimes silly, but always with a spiritual point. Here is a collection of some of the best slogans, sayings, and challenges ever posted on church signs.
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"Seven days without prayer makes one weak"

"No Jesus -- no peace
Know Jesus -- know peace!"

"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due"

"The happiest people are those who are too busy to notice"

"A man's character is like a fence. It cannot be strengthened by whitewash"

"Walmart isn't the only saving place!"

"The best ability is dependability"

"Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if neccessary"

"Delay is preferable to error"

"In case of rapture buiding for sale"

"Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your bible"

"It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees"

"What part of THOU SHALT NOT
don't you understand?"

"A clear conscience makes a soft pillow"

"The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday"

"Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive"

"Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings"

"Forbidden fruit creates many jams"

"Christians, keep the faith. But not from others!"

"Satan subtracts and divides. God multiplies and multiplies"

"If you do not want to reap the fruits of sin stay out of the devil's orchard"

"May is God's apology for February"

"To belittle is to be little"

"God only answers kneemail"

Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back"


More Church Sign / Sayings PDF
Over 2000 of them compiled in one PDF

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Church signs are everywhere sometimes funny, sometimes silly, but always with a spiritual point. Here is a collection of some of the best ...

Lessons from "A School of Fish"

If you have noticed how "a school of fish" swims in the open sea, you will be amazed. Together they will swim in one direction, and they move together as a group. A dear friend of mine said to me, "Elaine, can you see the way they actually swim together in one direction as a group?" "This is what I call unity!" I paused. Before I could speak further, she tapped on my shoulder and said, "Hey Elaine, can you see there are a few fish that do not swim together with the rest of the fish?" "Oh well," she said, "Looks like there are some fish too, that do not want to swim together with the rest." And for the rest of the day, I pondered what she told me.

Living in unity does not mean that we have to agree on everything; there will be many opinions just as there are many instruments played during an orchestra. But we have to agree on one thing--to work together for the Lord. Our outward expression of unity will reflect our inward unity of purpose.

God gives us diverse gifts and talents so we could build up His Church. God's gifts and talents to us differ in nature, power and effectiveness according to His wisdom and graciousness, and not according to our own understanding.

May all who love the Lord be willing to bear with one another and forgive one another, as Jesus himself suffered in the hands of those He created--yet he was able to say, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."... (Luke 23: 34)
Grace and peace, Elaine
 
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If you have noticed how "a school of fish" swims in the open sea, you will be amazed. Together they will swim in one dir...

Lessons We Could Learn From Noah and his Ark


1. Don't miss the boat.

2. Remember that we are all in the same boat.

3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark

4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old someone may ask you to do something really big.

5. Don't listen to critics, just get on with the job that needs to be done.

6. Build your future on high ground.

7. We were meant to travel in pairs, it was planned that way.

8. Speed isn't everything. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

9. When you're stressed, float awhile.

10. Remember the Ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by professionals

11. No matter what the storm, when you are with God there's always a rainbow waiting.




8 Life Lessons We Can Learn from Noah’s Ark

Noah’s Ark is an interesting and challenging story that we find in Scripture. It is a story of rebellion and of God’s reaction to it. When we dig beneath the surface of the story of Noah’s Ark, we find that there are some valuable lessons that we can learn about our relationship with God and the hope that we have in our lives.
    1, God cares for and protects us. 2. Rebellion leads to death. 3. Staying close to God keeps you safe. 4. Trust God with the impossible. 5. God might ask you to do something that sounds crazy. 6. Recognizing God’s voice makes all the difference. 7. Our hope is in Christ alone. 8. Look for signs of hope.

Source: MusicMan
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1. Don't miss the boat. 2. Remember that we are all in the same boat. 3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the...

Stations of the Cross - Revised


Stations of the Cross

The 14 Stations of the Cross represent events from Jesus’ passion and death. At each station we use our senses and our imagination to reflect prayerfully upon Jesus’ suffering, Death, and Resurrection.

1. Jesus Is Condemned to Death.

Pontius Pilate condemns Jesus to death.

2. Jesus Takes Up His Cross.

Jesus willingly accepts and patiently bears his cross.

3. Jesus Falls the First Time.

Weakened by torments and by loss of blood, Jesus falls beneath his cross.

4. Jesus Meets His Sorrowful Mother.

Jesus meets his mother, Mary, who is filled with grief.

5. Simon of Cyrene Helps Jesus Carry the Cross.

Soldiers force Simon of Cyrene to carry the cross.

6. Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus.

Veronica steps through the crowd to wipe the face of Jesus.

7. Jesus Falls a Second Time.

Jesus falls beneath the weight of the cross a second time.

8. Jesus Meets the Women of Jerusalem.

Jesus tells the women to weep not for him but for themselves and for their children.

9. Jesus Falls the Third Time.

Weakened almost to the point of death, Jesus falls a third time.

10. Jesus Is Stripped of His Garments.

The soldiers strip Jesus of his garments, treating him as a common criminal.

11. Jesus Is Nailed to the Cross.

Jesus’ hands and feet are nailed to the cross.

12. Jesus Dies on the Cross.

After suffering greatly on the cross, Jesus bows his head and dies.

13. Jesus Is Taken Down From the Cross.

The lifeless body of Jesus is tenderly placed in the arms of Mary, his mother.

14. Jesus Is Laid in the Tomb.

Jesus’ disciples place his body in the tomb.

The closing prayer—sometimes included as a 15th station—reflects on the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

 
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Stations of the Cross The 14 Stations of the Cross represent events from Jesus’ passion and death. At each station we use our senses an...

Hilarious Church Signs 2 - Sinfully Good

Hilarious Church Signs That’ll Keep You Sinfully Laughing For Hours

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world!

It is unlikely there'll ever be a reduction in the wages of sin.

Forbidden fruit creates many jams.

Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here.

Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons - come hear one.

People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.

Where will you be sitting in eternity - smoking or non-smoking?

“Staying in bed screaming, ’Oh God!’ does not constitute going to church.”

“A four inch tongue can bring a six foot man to his knees!”

 
 “Whoever stole our AC units—keep one. It is hot where you're going."

















 

Ways to Know you are in the wrong Church...

-The staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Socio-Pastor.
- They have ATM machines in the lobby.
- No cover charge, but communion is a two drink minimum.
- Services are B.Y.O.S. (Bring Your Own Snakes)
- They have karaoke worship time.
- The guy that takes the minutes in business meeting votes against everything because he can't spell unanimous.
- The only song the church organist knows is Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida.
- The church bus has gun racks.
- The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss" version.
- The choir wears leather robes.
- When you go in ushers ask you, "Do you want smoking or non-smoking?"


Also see these Bulletin Bloopers

28 Churches That Hilariously Exercised Their First Amendment Right
To Make Chaotic, Witty, Or Unhinged Signs

Source: BuzzFeed

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Hilarious Church Signs That’ll Keep You Sinfully Laughing For Hours Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and ...

Cry For Them

Cry no tears
  We have a home
  Cry for the little children
  Who are in this world
  All alone
 
  The children who walk around
  With heads hung low
  Dreading the days
  Because there's no where to go
 
  The children who have no
  Place to take a bath
  And hate going to school
  Because other's will laugh
 
  The children who are so hungry
  And need to be fed
  They smile for the outside world
  But inside they are dead
 
  The children who beg
  For money on the street
  Just so they can buy
  Shoes for their feet
 
  The children who cry
  As nightime nears
  Because sleeping in a alley
  Is one of their biggest fears
 
  So the next time
  You want to cry
  Over your woes
  Instead cry for
  The little children
  Who have no home
 
  © Copyright 2003 Andrianna Holt
 

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Cry no tears   We have a home   Cry for the little children   Who are in this world   All alone     The children who walk aroun...

Prayer For The Pirates

Clipart - Etsy
In the days of sailing vessels, a party of Moravian missionaries was sailing toward St. Thomas in the West Indies. The ship on which they were sailing was called the Britannia. In those days, the southern seas were full of pirates; and one day a pirate ship was seen rapidly approaching the Britannia. Though poorly equipped for defense, all hands on Britannia were called to prepare to resist the pirates. The Moravian missionaries, however, retired to their cabin. There they began to pray for God to intervene and to not only spare human life, but to make it possible for them to continue on their trip so that they could carry the gospel message to a dark and waiting land.


The pirate ship continued to draw closer until it was within gunshot range of the Britannia; and then, from its many cannons, it began to poor out heavy fire. As the ships came closer together, the men along the pirate ship’s deck next prepared themselves to board the Britannia. In order to do this, they would throw large metal hooks attached to ropes on to the deck of the ship they wanted to board. As soon as the hooks, called grappling irons, fastened themselves to something, they would quickly pull themselves across to the ship on the ropes. Just at the moment the pirates threw their grappling irons across toward the Britannia, their own ship was suddenly tossed violently by the waves and the men who held the ropes were thrown headlong into the sea.


Irritated with this disaster, the pirate captain sent others to take the place of the fallen men. When they also tried to board the Britannia, the same thing happened to them. Seeing he could not succeed in this manner, the captain ordered his guns to fire again; but strange to say, the balls all missed the Britannia, falling harmlessly into the sea. The smoke of the frequent firing of the guns was, however, very dense and hung about the vessels for quite some time, hiding them from each other’s view. When at last a gust of wind cleared away the smoke, to the amazement of the pirate captain, the Britannia was seen to be far away with all her sails set, speeding rapidly away from him. The pirates gave up the chase as hopeless, feeling completely frustrated by their failure to capture the ship on which the missionaries were sailing.



For five years after their arrival, the missionaries continued to faithfully preach the gospel in St. Thomas. On the fifth anniversary of their narrow escape, they, along with the other brethren on the island, assembled together to celebrate. As they were sitting together, word was brought that a stranger wished to speak to them. At their permission, a tall, fine-looking man with a pleasant expression on his face entered. He asked if they were the missionaries who had come to the island in the Britannia five years before.


“We are,” replied the brother whom he addressed.


“And were you attacked upon the sea by pirates?” asked the stranger.


“Yes,” replied the brother, but why are you asking these questions?”


“Because,” answered the stranger, ‘I am the captain who commanded the pirate ship that attacked you. The miraculous way in which your ship escaped was the reason for my own salvation from the power of sin through faith in Christ.”


The stranger then proceeded to tell them how, on making inquiry, he was led to conclude that it was through the prayers of the missionaries that the Britannia escaped. As a result, he was determined to visit their place of worship. Finding a Moravian mission, he was there converted from the error of his ways.


“And thus,” he concluded, “from the pirate captain I am become a poor sinner, justified by the grace and mercy of Christ. My hope has been that I might some day be able to find you and tell you of my miraculous conversion. This joy has now been granted me today.”
Author: W. A. Spicer Stories For Children
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Clipart - Etsy In the days of sailing vessels, a party of Moravian missionaries was sailing toward St. Thomas in the West Indies. T...

Where is God ?

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two boys were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought that they should send the boys to speak to the clergyman. The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before something really bad happens."

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8 year old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in a stern tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boys face, "Where is God?"

At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "Oh darn, We are in BIG TROUBLE this time! God is missing and they think we did it!"
 
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A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two boys were always getting into trouble and their...

Are You Listening?


A man was walking through a forest pondering life.
He walked and pondered, walked and pondered.
He felt very close to nature and even closer to God,
so close that he felt if he spoke, God would listen.

So he asked, "God, are you listening?"
And God replied, "Yes, my son, I am here."

The man stopped and pondered some more.
He looked up to the sky and said,
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God replied,
"Well, my son, a second to me is like a million years to you."

So the man continued to walk and ponder... walk and ponder...
Then he looked to the sky again and said,
"God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God replied,
"My son, a penny to me is like a million dollars to you."
It means almost nothing to me.
It does not even have any value, it is so little."

The man looked down, pondered a bit,
and then looked up to the sky and said,
"God, can I have a million dollars?"
And God replied, "In a second."

Author Unknown

Source: "Tender Words" Archived
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A man was walking through a forest pondering life. He walked and pondered, walked and pondered. He fel...

Preaching The Word + Poem


Preacher Man

Once I knew
A preacher man
Speaking God’s word
Across the land



His love for all
Clearly showed through
His dream of teaching others
Is going to come true



A man of God
He is for sure
Vowing to preach
The word for everymore



Making his loved ones
Beam with pride
Walking this earth
With God by his side



He knows there isn't
Nothing he can't do
As long as his word
Stays true.


© Copyright 2004 Andrianna Holt
 
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Preacher Man Once I knew A preacher man Speaking God’s word ...

The Christian Easter Story of Events

At Easter time Christians remember the last week of Jesus' life. Here we tell the story of the events known as Holy Week.

The Christian Easter Story

A story timeline of the arrest, trial and crucifixion of Jesus Christ.


Journey to Jerusalem

Jesus Rides into Jerusalem

Jesus and his disciples were walking to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover. When they were nearly there, Jesus sent two of his friends for a donkey. He told them to tell the owner that he needed it. The disciples did as they were asked and brought the donkey to Jesus. As he rode into Jerusalem, people saw Jesus coming and covered the path with their garments and palm leaves. They shouted 'Hosanna' and 'Jesus is the King.'


Judas Betrays Jesus

Betrayed by Judas

Most people were very happy, but this did not include some of the priests who were jealous of Jesus. They did not like it that ordinary people liked him so much. They wanted an excuse to arrest Jesus and kill him. Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus' disciples went to them in secret and told them he would betray him. The priests and elders gave Judas thirty pieces of silver. From then on he waited for his chance to get Jesus into trouble.


The Last Supper

Jesus says 'Goodbye'

Jesus sat down to a meal with his twelve friends. He looked very sad. His friends asked him 'What is the matter?' He told them he would have to go away the next day to be with his Father in heaven. Jesus' friends were sad then too. The disciples said they would not let anything happen to him. Jesus told them that one of them had already taken money to betray him. They all looked at each other. Judas stood up and walked out.


The Last Supper

Remember Me

Jesus told his friends about the people in Jerusalem who did not like him and that the next day he would be arrested and nailed to a cross.

So that they would remember him Jesus broke some bread and said 'This is my body. Take it and eat it and remember me.' Then he took a cup of wine and told them that it was his blood. They should drink it and remember him.


Praying at Gethsemane

Jesus Praying

Jesus and his friends walked to the garden of Gethsemane. Jesus was very sad and asked Peter, James and John to watch over him while he prayed.

As he prayed, his friends fell asleep as they were very tired. Just then, Judas arrived with many men who carried swords. They had been sent by the priests to arrest Jesus.


Betrayed with a Kiss

Judas kisses Jesus

Judas went up to Jesus and kissed him on the cheek. This was Judas' way of picking out Jesus to the soldiers. Straight away two of the guards seized Jesus.

Peter drew his sword and cut off the ear of one of these men. Jesus told him he should not have done that. He touched the man and his ear was healed. The disciples were afraid and ran for their lives.


Peter's Denial

'I do not know Jesus'

Earlier Jesus had predicted that his disciples would betray him. Peter said this was not possible. Jesus explained 'Before the cock crows at dawn you will have disowned me three times.' Peter had replied 'Never'. Jesus, now under arrest, was being questioned by the Jewish council. As Peter watched from a distance, people asked if he was a friend of Jesus. Three times he denied knowing him. Suddenly the cock crowed and he cried as he recalled Jesus' words.


The Trial of Jesus

Questioned by Pontius Pilate

The Jewish leaders wanted Jesus to be guilty. They found it difficult to find anything that he had done wrong, even though they paid people to lie about him. Eventually they asked him if he was the Son of God. Jesus replied 'I am.' This was enough. They said this was an insult to God. Jesus was taken before Pontius Pilate, the Roman Governor.


Pilate Washes his Hands

Pilate Washes his Hands

The chief priests, who wanted Jesus to die, persuaded the people to set free a murderer called Barabbas. Pilate asked what he should do with Jesus, known as the 'King of the Jews'. 'Crucify him!' shouted the people. Pilate asked 'Why? What has he done?' The people continued to shout. Pilate called for a bowl of water and let everyone see him washing his hands of sending an innocent man to his death. He ordered that Barabbas be freed instead.


The Crown of Thorns

'Hail! King of the Jews'

The soldiers took Jesus away, removed his clothes and dressed him in a purple robe. On his head they placed a crown of thorns. Mocking him they knelt down before him and said 'Hail, King of the Jews'. As the blood ran down his forehead they made fun of him. Jesus never said a word.

Then they took him away and laid a heavy wooden cross on his back.


Carrying the Cross

Jesus Carrying the Cross

Jesus was made to carry the cross out of the city gates and up a nearby hill. On the way some of the crowd cheered, others wept.

On top of the hill Jesus was put on the cross and nails were put through his hands and feet. The cross was raised up. Two robbers were also put on crosses, one on either side of Jesus. One of the robbers was feeling very afraid. Jesus spoke to him and comforted him.


Jesus is Crucified

Jesus Dies on the Cross

Jesus' mother watched him on the cross. He called to one of his friends to look after her now. Many people in the crowd were cruel. They said 'You saved other people, why don't you save yourself now?'

At noon darkness fell on the land. It lasted a few hours. Jesus cried out aloud, 'My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?' In the sadness and the dark, Jesus died.


Taken off the Cross

Jesus is taken down

At the moment Jesus died, the earth shook. One of the soldiers who had been keeping guard said 'This man was the Son of God.' Many people began to feel afraid.

Some of the friends of Jesus and his mother waited for permission from Pontius Pilate to take Jesus down from the cross. They laid the body in a tomb cut in the rock. The tomb was sealed with a large stone.


Risen from the Dead

Jesus is Alive

Two days later a friend of Jesus known as Mary Magdalen went to the tomb. She was astonished to find that the huge stone had been moved and the body had gone.

She ran to tell Peter and John who only found burial sheets in the tomb. Mary, weeping, was approached by a man she did not know, who asked her why she was crying. She explained that it was because they had taken her Lord away. The man was Jesus risen from the dead.


Jesus is Alive

Sharing the News

Believing him to be the gardener, Mary asked if he knew where Jesus body had been taken.

Jesus said 'Mary, it is I'. Mary was full of joy. Jesus told her to tell his friends that she had seen him and that he would soon be with his father in Heaven. Mary ran back to tell all their friends the news. At first not everyone believed her.


The Disciples See Jesus

The Disciples See Jesus

Jesus appeared to the disciples several times. Once, when they had been fishing on the Sea of Galilee, he called to them from the shore. He asked them if they had caught many fish. They replied 'Nothing.' Jesus told them to drop their nets on the right side of the boat. They did this and when they pulled in their nets, they were full of fish. It was only then that they realised that the man was Jesus. They came ashore and had a meal of fish with him.


The Ascension

Jesus Ascends to Heaven

Later Jesus spoke to all of the disciples telling them that once he had left them they would receive the power of the Holy Spirit. He wanted them to spread the word of God throughout the world.

Jesus was then taken up into heaven. Two angels appeared and told his friends not to be sad because one day Jesus would return.

 
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At Easter time Christians remember the last week of Jesus' life. Here we tell the story of the events known as Holy Week. ...

Mr. Noah and His Family - Little Golden Book


MR. NOAH AND HIS FAMILY PReview of A Little Golden Book #49
Story by Jane Werner, pictures by Alice and Martin Provensen. "B" edition, Brown Back1948 copyright, Simon and Schuster

 
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MR. NOAH AND HIS FAMILY PReview of A Little Golden Book #49 Story by Jane Werner, pictures by Alice and Martin Provensen. "B...