When the good Lord was creating Mothers ... He was into His sixth day of "overtime." An angel appeared and said, "You're sure doing a lot of fiddling around on this one!"
God nodded and said, "Yes, but have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not made of plastic.
She has to have 180 moveable parts ... all replaceable.
She'll have to run on black coffee and leftovers.
She'll need a lap that disappears when she stands up.
She'll have to have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped finger to a disappointed love affair. She will also need six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands? ... No way!"
"It is not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded and said, "One pair is to see through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" ... although she'll already know.
She needs another pair here in the back of her head that can see the things she shouldn't have to, but things that she has to know.
And of course, she'll need a set of eyes here in front that will be able to look at a child when he goofs up. Those eyes will be able to say, "I understand and I love you," without even muttering a word."
"Lord," said the angel touching God's sleeve gently, "You had better go to bed. Tomorrow ..."
"I can't," interrupted the Lord. "I'm so close now to creating something that is so much like myself, that I just can't stop.
I've already created one who can ... heal herself when she is sick, feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger, and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."
Slowly, the angel circled and carefully looked at the model of a Mother. "It's too soft!" the angel sighed.
"But she's tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother will be able to do or the things that she will be able to endure."
The angel asked, "Can she think?"
"Not only can she think, but she will be able to reason and compromise," said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the mother. "There's a leak in her!" the angel pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."
"That's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear!"
"What's it for?" asked the angel.
The Lord said, "It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, love and pride."
"Wow! You're a genius!" said the angel.
The Lord looked somber and said, "But I didn't put it there!"
~ Erma Bombeck ~
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