Dear Saints,
Well, it is that inevitable time for sports enthusiasts and others for the big SuperBowl activities. In fact, I heard that Fox Network is going to begin pre-game activities this morning, the game isn’t until 5:30 p.m. this afternoon!
With that said, I thought you would enjoy the following:
Church Football
Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Halftime - The period between Sunday 5chool and worship when many choose to leave
Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) repeatedly during the service.
Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.
Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.
Trap - You’re called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Halfback Option - The decision of 75% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
I hope you found that as humorous as I did. Maybe you didn't! Oh well, the warped humor of a christian! Smile!
Source: Archived ... Also see "The Church of Football" for his take on this Terminolgy
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